What to do when someone with dementia wanders off: the first fifteen minutes, and how Missouri's Endangered Silver Advisory works

Her bed is empty. If you are looking up what to do when someone with dementia wanders off, skip to the list just below and start it now. Come back for the rest when she is home. The bathroom is dark. The front door is closed, which means nothing, because she always closes it. The point of this page is that you decide the sequence before it happens, not at two in the morning.

Do I call the police if Mom wandered?

Yes. Fifteen minutes of your own searching, then 911. Not the non-emergency line, not tomorrow, not after you have driven the whole of Ballwin twice. The Alzheimer's Association says to call 911 at the fifteen-minute mark and to file a missing person's report stating the person has dementia. The NIA's caregiving pages give the same instruction for an emergency call: explain that your loved one has dementia. Do not wait for a day to pass because you once heard that police will not take a report before then. The advice from the people who study wandering is fifteen minutes.

The word dementia is the most important word in the call. It changes how the search is run and, in Missouri, it is what makes the advisory described below possible.

What do I tell 911?

• Her full name, her age, and that she has dementia or memory loss.
• Where she was last seen and when, to the nearest few minutes.
• What she was wearing, including shoes, or that she left without them.
• Where she might be going: the old address, the old job, the church. Say the words she has been saying at the door.
• Whether she has a car, a phone, a tracker, or an ID bracelet, and whether she is on foot.
• Any health issue an officer should know, in her own doctor's words if you have them.
• That you have a recent photograph. The NIA says to keep a recent photograph or video of the person to help police if the person becomes lost. Have it ready to send.

What is Missouri's Endangered Silver Advisory?

Other states call it a Silver Alert. On the Missouri State Highway Patrol's pages the program is the Endangered Silver Advisory, which the Patrol describes as a voluntary partnership between law enforcement and local broadcasters to rapidly disseminate information about a missing and endangered adult to law enforcement agencies, broadcasters, and the public. The Patrol's summary says the program exists to help protect an increasing population of individuals that suffer from dementia or other cognitive impairment, and describes it as a cooperative effort among local and state law enforcement, the Missouri Department of Transportation and the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services, with voluntary participation by radio and television broadcasters.

The Patrol's plan lists three criteria, and all three matter to you tonight:

1. The person is 60 years of age or older and believed to be suffering from dementia or other cognitive impairment.
2. A legal custodian of the missing person has submitted a missing person's report to the local law enforcement agency where the person went missing.
3. There is sufficient information available to disseminate to the public that could assist in locating the missing adult.

Read the second one again. You do not activate the advisory. The local police do, by sending the Patrol's form to Troop F headquarters, and they can only do that once you have filed the report. That is why the 911 call is the switch, why "dementia" has to be in it, and why the photo and the clothing description are not extras. They are the third criterion. Without them there is nothing to broadcast.

The Patrol's pages are written for law enforcement, not for families, so do not expect to find a family hotline there. Your job is the report, the photo, the description, and staying reachable on the number you gave the officer.

Who to tell before it happens

The NIA's advice is short: let neighbors and the local police know that the person with Alzheimer's tends to wander. The Alzheimer's Association says to ask neighbors, friends and family to call if they see the person wandering, and to keep a recent, close-up photo on hand. In practice that is a knock on four doors on her street with a photo and your cell number, and a call to her city's police department on a quiet afternoon to say that a resident at this address has dementia and may walk. In Ballwin that is the Ballwin Police Department; in Chesterfield, the Chesterfield Police Department; elsewhere in the county, whichever department patrols her street. Use the non-emergency number printed on that department's own page, ask the officer how they would like to be told next time, and write down what they say.

The neighbor who walked her home last Tuesday is not your plan. She is your early warning, and she deserves your phone number and your thanks.

The folder by the door

• A recent, close-up photo, printed, and the same photo on your phone.
• Her full name, date of birth, height, weight, eye and hair color.
• Her doctor's name and number, and a list of her medications in the doctor's words. Not on this website, and not on any website. In the folder.
• The places she talks about going, with addresses.
• The routes she used to walk or drive.
• The number of her wandering response service, if she is enrolled. The NIA names the MedicAlert + Alzheimer's Association Safe and Found service at 800-432-5378.
• The names and numbers of the four neighbors you told.

After she is found

She will probably not remember it. You will. The first night after is the hardest, because you now know the door is real, and the sensible response is to make tonight different rather than to sit up in a chair with the lights on. The safe-exit checklist is where to start. The night-shift page covers who stays awake, whether that is a rotation of relatives or a non-medical overnight caregiver. And the Alzheimer's Association's 24/7 Helpline, 800-272-3900, is free and available around the clock, 365 days a year, including the night you cannot stop shaking.