Search the Block Yourself, or Bring in Outside Help? Decide Who Does Each Job First

When Mom is missing, the first hour is crowded with decisions, and many of them are made by whoever is closest to the phone. The better choice is to decide now, while things are calm, which tasks the family will do and which tasks outside help should take on. You can make that choice on paper before anything happens.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

What the family can do alone

The family can walk the usual routes, check the places Mom has gone before, such as a former home, a church, a store, or a bus stop, and keep a single phone list of who has been called and who has not. Family members who know her habits can say where she is likely to go and what would draw her there. This knowledge is hard to replace, and it is the strongest part of the search.

What outside help can take on

Outside help can add more people to cover ground, drive while family members stay by the phone, or staff the house so that calls are answered and someone is always reachable. Some groups offer trained search support. Ask any group what they need from you, what they will do, and how they will stay in contact, before you accept their help.

How to decide who does what

Make a short list with three columns: the task, the person who will do it, and the backup. Put one person in charge of coordinating the search so that information does not split across several people. Put one person by the phone at all times. Put the call to emergency services near the top of the list and do not wait for a second opinion before making it. A search that is organized in advance rarely needs to be reorganized in the middle.

Questions to answer before the night comes

Who can leave the house in the next hour? Who knows Mom well enough to say where she might go? Who can drive, and who cannot? Who will stay by the phone? Who has the most recent photograph on their phone? Write the answers down and keep the list somewhere everyone can find it.

Keep the plan current

Review the list every few months, or when someone's availability changes. A plan that names someone who has moved away or no longer drives is a plan with a gap in it.

The Start Here guide sets out the order of steps from dusk to morning, and the Sources page lists the places this site draws its general points from.