The Missouri Bar says you do not need a lawyer to complete its free Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Health Care Directive form. Legal Services of Missouri says the most common types of advance directives in the state are a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, which appoints an agent when she is unable, and a Health Care Choices Directive similar to a living will. The NIA notes that in one study people guessed nearly one out of three end-of-life decisions for their loved one incorrectly, which is why written directives and conversations matter before a crisis.

Medicare does not pay for long-term care. It also does not pay for 24-hour-a-day care at home, meal delivery, homemaker services unrelated to a care plan, or custodial personal care when that is the only care needed. MO HealthNet is different from Medicare and can help with benefits not normally covered through Medicare, such as nursing home care and personal care services. Missouri HCBS programs help older adults live at home rather than moving to a nursing home. Screen benefits at BenefitsCheckUp.

The Alzheimer's Association home safety page names stove knob covers, medications in a locked drawer or cabinet, and deadbolts. The NIA names smoke detectors and locked medicines. Six in 10 people living with dementia will wander at least once. Never lock a person in at home. Identify the time of day she is most likely to wander, and call 911 if she is not found within 15 minutes.

After a dementia diagnosis, what does the family checklist actually look like?

Q: Week one: the people

Hold a family meeting that includes everyone who is or will be part of the caregiving team. The Family Caregiver Alliance says that if someone has dementia it might be appropriate to hold at least the first meeting without that person present. Discord most often comes from an unequal division of duties. If you live an hour or more away, the NIA counts you as a long-distance caregiver.

Q: Week three and after: the help

Call the Alzheimer's Association Helpline at 800-272-3900, then Aging Ahead or the city agency, then 211. About 50 percent of caregivers get no outside help at all. When you hire help, the Family Caregiver Alliance says to tell her you need help and that accepting hired care is something she can do to help you, not a sign you will abandon her. Respite is short-term relief, from a few hours to several weeks, at home, in a facility, or at adult day.

Lifelines

A week-by-week family checklist after a dementia diagnosis: Missouri papers, the people, Medicare and MO HealthNet, the house, and the help you can ask for.

Published 11 September 2026 by the Mom Wanders desk. Each number and named program is cited in the sentence that uses it. Nothing here is medical advice.

If you typed "dementia diagnosis checklist for family," you do not need another speech. You need a running list. The first week, in order, is on the what-first page. This page is the list you keep going back to: papers, people, money, the house, and help. Do the items in the week they belong to. Skip what does not apply.

Week one: the papers

Written papers beat a guess in a hallway at 2 am. The National Institute on Aging notes that in one study people guessed nearly one out of three end-of-life decisions for their loved one incorrectly, which is why written advance directives and conversations matter before a crisis.

Find what she already signed. A copy you cannot find is a copy you do not have.
Read the two common types. Legal Services of Missouri says that in Missouri the most common types of advance directives are a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, which appoints an agent when she is unable, and a Health Care Choices Directive similar to a living will.
Print the free form if she has neither. The Missouri Bar says you do not need a lawyer to complete its free Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and/or Health Care Directive form. If the form does not meet her needs, the same page says you may want to consult a lawyer.
Know the statute's name. Missouri Revised Statutes section 404.800 says that sections 404.800 to 404.865 may be cited as the Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Act.
Talk before a crisis, then store copies: one with her, one with the agent, one with the doctor's office.

This is not a will and it is not a money power of attorney. Those are separate papers. This week's job is the health one.

Week one: the people

The papers name an agent. The week still needs a team. The Family Caregiver Alliance says a family meeting should include everyone who is or will be part of the caregiving team, and that if someone has dementia it might be appropriate to hold at least the first meeting without that person present. Hold that first one without her if you are dividing Tuesdays. Hold the next one with her.

Put a time on the calendar this week. Twenty minutes. Video is fine for the sibling who lives an hour or more away. The NIA says if you live an hour or more away you are a long-distance caregiver, and that the work from there includes money management, arranging in-home care, respite and emergency planning.
Invite the people who actually do the work, or will. The neighbor who already has a key counts.
Name the hours, not the childhood. The Family Caregiver Alliance says discord most often comes from an unequal division of caregiving duties, with one sibling generally taking the primary role because they live closest, are seen as having fewer obligations, or are considered the favorite child. Write who does which day. Send the note after.
If the person doing most of the hands-on care is her husband, not a daughter, that house has a different set of questions. Caring for My Wife is written for that house.

Week two: the money

Start with what Medicare does not do, so nobody builds a plan on it. Medicare.gov says Medicare does not pay for long-term care. You may be eligible through Medicaid if you meet state requirements, or you can buy private long-term care insurance. The home health page adds that she must need part-time or intermittent skilled services and be homebound, and that Medicare does not pay for 24-hour-a-day care at home, meal delivery, homemaker services unrelated to the care plan, or custodial or personal care when that is the only care needed.

Write down her Medicare number and put it in the same folder as the health papers.
Learn the Missouri name for Medicaid. MO HealthNet (Missouri Medicaid) is different from Medicare and can help with benefits not normally covered through Medicare, like nursing home care and personal care services.
Ask Aging Ahead or the city agency about Home and Community Based Services. Missouri DHSS says HCBS help older adults or people with disabilities live in their homes or communities rather than moving to a nursing home.
Run a benefits screen. NCOA BenefitsCheckUp is a public screening tool for senior benefits.
Ask about the National Family Caregiver Support Program. ACL says the NFCSP serves family caregivers of people 60 and older, and caregivers of people of any age with Alzheimer's and related disorders.
Name respite as a line item. The NIA says respite provides short-term relief, from a few hours to several weeks, at home, in a facility, or at adult day.
Know the three types of care in the home. Missouri DHSS describes three types of care in the home, including private duty or private pay. That last one is the non-medical help families buy when Medicare will not.

Week two: the house

Do not turn her house into a facility. Do the three things that prevent the worst ordinary accidents, then learn the door. The Alzheimer's Association home safety page names stove knob covers, medications in a locked drawer or cabinet, and deadbolts. The NIA names smoke detectors and medicines locked.

Stove. Knob covers, knobs off, or the gas off, this week. Press the smoke detector button while you are there.
Medicines. All of them, prescription and over the counter, into a locked drawer or cabinet she does not go to for snacks.
The door. The Alzheimer's Association says six in 10 people living with dementia will wander at least once. Identify the time of day she is most likely to wander. Never lock a person in at home. If she is not found within 15 minutes, call 911 and say she has dementia.
Do not install a lock that would keep her inside in a fire. High or low deadbolts slow a door; they must not trap anyone. The night-exit list, including chimes and coats out of sight, is on the page about keeping someone from leaving at night.

Week three and after: the help

The Family Caregiver Alliance says about 50 percent of caregivers get no outside help at all. The NIA also says caregivers are less likely to get preventive health services and have a higher risk of health issues and sleep problems. Help is a task on this list, the same as the stove knobs.

Call the Helpline if you have not yet. The Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline is 800-272-3900, free around the clock, 365 days a year, with bilingual staff or interpreter service for more than 200 languages. The St. Louis chapter helpline page has the rest of the numbers.
Call the Area Agency on Aging for her ZIP. Aging Ahead covers St. Louis, St. Charles, Franklin and Jefferson counties. The city agency is (314) 612-5918 for an address inside the City of St. Louis. Missouri's Senior Resource Line is 1-800-235-5503. Dial 211 for a trained resource specialist any hour.
Sit in a group once. The Alzheimer's Association describes peer- or professionally led groups, virtual and in person, with specialized groups for adult caregivers.
If you hire help in the house, say it as a request for you. Families often face a loved one who does not want a stranger in the house. The Family Caregiver Alliance says to tell the person you need help and that accepting hired care is something they can do to help you, not a sign you will abandon them.
Use the education calendar at the Knight Alzheimer Disease Research Center at Washington University. It is a research center, not a walk-in clinic.

What to do tonight

Find the health papers, or print the Missouri Bar form. Put a twenty-minute family call on the calendar. Write "Medicare does not pay for long-term care" at the top of the money page so nobody argues it from memory. Then stop.

When to ask the care team or the doctor

Papers, people, money and the house are family work. What the diagnosis means, what a medicine is for, whether a new confusion is the disease or an infection, and whether she should still drive belong with her physician. The NIA's next-steps page says to attend appointments with the primary care doctor and any recommended specialists and to ask for a referral to a memory disorders clinic. Bring the folder. Bring one written question so it gets asked first. Nothing on this page is medical advice.

Paid placement, disclosed

When the checklist says the family cannot cover an hour, families in Ballwin, Chesterfield, Eureka, Glencoe, Grover, Pacific, Valley Park and St. Louis sometimes call New Plan Care Solutions for non-medical help in the house: company, a routine, meals, someone near the door in the late afternoon or overnight. Call (314) 405-0887.

Disclosed feature. New Plan Care Solutions is a client of OwnersFirm, which publishes this site, and pays for this placement. It was not ranked against anything on this page.

Keep reading

All the guides.

From the sources on this page

Free formThe Missouri Bar: you do not need a lawyer to complete its free Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care form. Not LTCMedicare does not pay for long-term care. Never lockAlzheimer's Association, seven words: never lock a person in at home. 50 percentAbout 50 percent of caregivers get no outside help at all, per the Family Caregiver Alliance.